The Cost of an Indian Wedding

In Indian culture, as soon as the child is born, the planning for one’s wedding starts. The family start’s gathering gold/ possessions right from the day you are born. They do this killing a lot of their own ambitions and aspirations. Now, this is also one of the costs which a family pays in an Indian wedding. Throughout the childhood gathering of possessions continue. Somehow Indian people find a huge satisfaction in possessions and not in experiences. This continues till the education of the child is done and then starts the saga of getting one married. Hence, the cost of marriage can be equated as:

Cost of Marriage (CoM) = Cost of possession + Lost opportunity cost + Lost aspirations + Amount spent in marriage

Cost of possession

We buy anything for a purpose which gives us instant gratification. The touch and feel of that possession give us a very satisfactory feeling. After a while when this feeling wears off comes a state where we should keep up those possessions (gold, house etc.). The cost of possession is the cost of maintaining those things for their life. A gold ornament will need a bank locker, considering the risks involved, A house will need maintenance time and again etc.

Lost opportunity cost

Now when you buy anything, it is at the cost of something else. In typical Indian family where people buy a lot of things planning for future for their children they lose out on many other things in life, the cost of which is huge. Now, you could have invested that money made much more and made everyone happy. But patience is not a virtue of Indian people. A 4000 Rs a month in a mutual fund for 20 years can reap more than a crore which can make everyone’s life very easy and fulfilling.

Lost aspirations

I had to travel to new places but I didn’t have money for it as I took that gold ornament set for my future daughter in law. Now, this thing called marriage leads to a loss of a lot of loss of aspirations for the family. The future that is not even certain. We don’t know what will happen next moment but we easily do things for like 10 years down the line killing a lot of aspirations of our own which could be life changing.

Amount spent in marriage

This is the most stupid thing various Indian families do. They will take a loan and get their son/ daughter married. Why? Because I should keep up that status in society otherwise what will people say about me, because I have only one son and I want to do the best for him, because marriage is only done once in life and no one has an intent of the second one, because this is the only thing we live for are some of the lame reasons you will get. All of this for what? Living your life in debt for the people who will not even remember it next morning.

After reading this do you still want to get married in those big fat Indian wedding types functions, considering what all your parents have been through? Don’t you want to give them back something which will at least make up for those costs that they have paid knowingly or un-knowingly and make you happy about doing something good in life?

Please leave your thoughts in comments,

Importance of wasting time

wasting time

There is always so much do and achieve in one’s life. We always keep running around with the feeling of getting things done from the endless list of to do’s. There is this culture of making one feel all productive and even a second wasted is looked at terribly. But what we don’t realize is, in this type of life where all we care about is getting things done all the time, becomes dull and monotonous and hence you need a break to rejuvenate, hence need of me time, lazy time or rather say wasting time becomes fulfilling and utmost important.

What we, the today’s generation do is spend long hours on thinking how to spend time well. Irony!! Isn’t it. And here we miss some important moments with our family and friends.

The problem that we face today is that everyone is conditioned about chasing productivity so much that we think the break time can be better use in striking off the no. 9 from the to-do list. We don’t sleep, go for a walk, read etc. whenever we find time from our so-called productive schedule, we end up thinking and planning about what to do next and hence feeling guilty of not putting the current time to the best use.

Instead, what we actually do is sit like a zombie in front of our laptop and have a sense of working but not actually working. Hence we neither contribute to our work nor your happiness.

There’s an idea we must always be available, work all the time,” says Michael Guttridge, a psychologist who focuses on workplace behavior. “It’s hard to break out of that and go to the park.”

The downside of this is blank stare at the computer while working, opening facebook while pretending to work, etc. The think we tell ourselves, this is multitasking and I am not wasting any time but in reality, we are far from doing the basic work even, forget to multitask.

The idea of eating and drinking at the desk is not good at all as it doesn’t help in gathering our thoughts. Instead, we should go for a walk to coffee shop, cafeteria, etc. Here, we miss the physical and mental benefits of spending time with ourselves.

This is not to say we should not work hard or not complete the assignment. The truth is, work expands to fill the time it’s given and, for most of us, we could spend considerably fewer hours at the office and still get the same amount done.

Sometimes activities like going to the gym can be weighed down by the sense of responsibility as we must reach office before anyone. Surprisingly, we start watching movies and shows in fast forward to get the summary. This was meant for fun but we start doing it like work hence taking the fun and pleasure out of the activity. We then think that we had the fun time but with no actual benefits of wasting that time.

“Wasting time is about recharging your battery and de-cluttering,”. Taking time to be total, gloriously, proudly unproductive will ultimately make you better at your job. But it’s also fulfilling in and of itself.

At the end of the day, all of us need to have some off time doing things we like and want to do. We should think this time as time well spent as you gain a lot of focus and not as unproductive time.