Today after a long time I was not able to concentrate on work and wasted my Sunday. I had a lot of things to finish up, but then also my mind was wandering to the memories of my engineering and MBA and the good times I had there.
Journey from no one to someone
Not able to work got me thinking that what I have come to. I have come a long way. I still remember my first day at college where I was so scared of all the ragging. I traveled on a ‘TVS Scooty,’ imagine my heavy build on that vehicle. I kept my head down and just went class. I was a proper padhakoo who are generally the most hated by everyone in the college. I would just sit in the corner during the lunchtime and have my food and just keep reading books and do my work. And today I am running a successful blog (pokharnatalks.com), have worked at two successful startups (practo.com and cuemath.com) and spend time with many other startups (airim.co, simplyguest.com, dealidiot.com, glare-affair and many more).
Today, I just wanted to call someone and just talk. I took out my phone and started scrolling. To my dismay, I was not able to find even one person whom I can call and just talk. I then realized one thing that on a journey from becoming no one to someone I lost friends, relation, etc. I just grabbed my headphone and went to a run-in park just to introspect. Off late workout is the only thing that I find solace in.
During my run
When I started running, I was blank and for first few mins couldn’t think of anything. But then I started thinking what is wrong with me? I am doing ok in my professional career. I have a loving family. The only thing I couldn’t accept that where were all my friends. Everyone is so busy to do something, achieve something that on the way we lose track of people who once couldn’t even step out of the room without you.
I then started gathering my thoughts on the events that triggered these separations in the path. In my engineering, it was because of a difference of opinion on a situation involving a girl. In MBA, it was again a girl because of whom a lot of people stopped interacting. I concluded that it’s always a girl who ruins everything (people may call be sexist). But this was a fact of my life. My most precisions relations were somewhere or the other affected, and the reason was a girl. Though expectations played their part, still the initiation happened somewhere else.
I didn’t realize that I finished 8km while just thinking about this.
Terrace of my home
I then came back and again fell into the void of talking to someone. I then called mom and just did a bit of chit-chat and went on the terrace. I started penning down whatever I was feeling to the view below.
I realized that ‘me’ time is very important as it helps you to think on a lot of perspective of life which you generally ignore. We are too busy in our lives to think about these things. I recently read The Urban Monk and one of the learning there was to have a Gong and you must do it without fail for 100 days and if you fail in between you again start from day 1. Once you do anything for 100 continuous days, you will see that it becomes a part of your lifestyle.
I decided that I will now spend at least 2 hours in a week with only me and will just introspect on parts of life.
Writing always gives me a sense of fulfillment as if I have achieved something. Have you ever felt something like this?